Raven woke in a panic, with sweat soaking under her. Jo came running in. This was the fourth experience where she felt all of herself turning inside out. I can’t go on like this she screamed, her voice echoing through her apartment. She was shaking in Jo’s arms.
She sipped her coffee as Tanya stared back. I know you don’t believe in this, but there’s a man up in Monticello. I can give you the address I have his card in here somewhere. He doesn’t have a telephone she said, as she rummaged through her satchel. Raven, I do think you’re going through something profound and you should listen. Remember when mom used to say the body doesn’t lie. She’d say, “The body will show the truth before your mind knows it.” Here, take this card. Go see him. Thank you she said, with tears in her eyes. Will you come with me?
When Raven and Tanya arrived at the address there was a man standing at the opening of a cave-like structure. Please be aware of where you’re stepping when you go inside, was all he said. Torch lights decorated the walls on their way in. I must be crazy, Raven thought to herself, mom was crazy. But she kept walking. As Tanya led the way, Raven recalled witnessing the death of her father. The emotional shock was too intense for her 7 year old mind to process. Her mother leapt up as he was having a heart attack and called 911. She then ran into the next room to grab rhodonite, and gave one to each of the girls. She specifically told Raven, hold it close and don’t let go baby. You’ll be okay. We’re here, Tanya said. A man sat with his back toward them. You are looking to regain your peace. You’ve come to the right place. The Spirit will not rest until it is calm. The Spirit will get LOUD. It will infiltrate your life until you listen. What is your name, the man said as he turned around.
By then Raven was crying uncontrollably. She knew something was wrong but she didn’t feel ready to face it. My name is Raven, she sobbed.
You have not been heeding the calls Raven. Even through your dreams, psyche is trying to speak with you. The Spirit speaks through psyche, it is as if it is another you, telling you, what you need to know. Do you understand? Take this.
Raven read the bottle. “Stone Elixir. Clears all blockages. Set in the sun for several hours. Water infused. Argentina and Southern Africa.” I advise you take it here as your visions will be intense. You are in a safe container Raven. She looked at Tanya, who nodded. She quickly drank the water.
Time began turning backwards.
Raven opened her eyes. She was in her bed. Floating above her was her mouth. When it opened her tongue stretched out growing longer and longer. Paralyzed with fear she heard her own voice. You are not being truthful. You are lying to yourself.
Raven opened her eyes. In the darkness she suddenly began talking to herself for over an hour. She could not fall asleep until she was finished with the conversation. Again she heard her own voice, repeating what she was saying. “No one sees it but me. No one sees it but me. No one sees it but me.”
Raven opened her eyes. It was 4am. She turned on her night lamp. Her mind felt heavy. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t get out of bed. Her body was frozen in terror as she noticed a child at the foot of it. It was her, holding the rhodonite. No one sees it but us. No one sees it but us. No one sees it but us. She mouthed.
Raven opened her eyes. A body lay asleep next to her, but she was wide awake. She sat up and began to cry, looking around, feeling lost. She went to the bathroom, continuing to cry as she looked at herself in the mirror. She came back and sat on the floor next to the body. As she stared at it, she noticed it was cradling a gun. As she reached for it, the body turned eyes closed and put the gun in her mouth. Joanna!
Raven gasped loudly as she came out of the trance. Hysterical, she blurted, I’m being manipulated I’m being lied to I’m being blamed! Everything started to go black. No one sees it but me no one sees it but me! she cried, stammering. Then her sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. The man recited.
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Thank you for reading. Here’s an update on what I’ve been doing elsewhere:
Darkness Thriving is now live. Formerly known as EVA or endvabuse.com, this is a sacred space where I help others explore self-healing and self-awareness through posts and other resources I will be creating in time.
My poetry books, Folk Horror and Rural Horror, are on sale here. They are also now available on barnesandnoble.com and exclusively in the Albany, NY Barnes and Noble at Colonie Center.
Devil’s Manifesto, my zine about the fragmented parts of ourselves that must die to redeem their humanity, is available here.