I first became interested in Lilith a few years ago as I continued to follow myself down a spiritual path. Baphomet, the Dark Lord, upside down crosses, strictly red and black, 666 all resonated with me in a deep way and I knew somehow I was becoming connected to her. As I explored Hekate, I naturally bought a book on Lilith as well. I enjoy finding books that have a very small amount of reviews and aren’t mainstream, so Embracing Lilith was the perfect fit. The author Mark H. Williams channeled her entire story, as he writes in the Introduction, “About two years ago I began waking up with words in my head telling Lilith’s story in the form of a myth.” It is a fascinating book because this is not your typical historical account, it is told in first person point of view “I”, from Lilith herself (through Mark of course). It is her story, and it also teaches lessons about accepting our extreme darkness and extreme light. I bought a notebook to go with the book as I usually do to take notes.
In one part Lilith recounts Yeshua-ben Yusef, or Jesus Christ. Lilith lived in the camp with Yeshua’s followers, noting that “Through the centuries after his death, the churches started in his name have done a horrible job of following his example. He literally accepted everyone and only gave judgment if they were hurting themselves or others…He called many of the churches by the same names he used for Pharisees of his time: serpents, white-washed sepulchers, and other insults.” How could Mark have known any of that? I believe this is a truly sacred text.
Back then after reading the book I decided to make an offering to Lilith to show her I was trying to get in touch. I found a nearby Jewish cemetery and was too timid to go in at night during the full moon, so I went around the back in some corporate parking lot and left white lilies (they did not have red) on the edge of the border of the cemetery. As soon as I walked into a Home Depot that night they were the first plant by the door. As I checked out, my bill ended up being 6.66, and I knew then that she was witnessing me.
After joining a spiritual group in 2022, I decided again to make another offering. This time I was in search of poppy flowers, another love of Lilith’s. I couldn’t find them so I settled for lilies again, though red this time. I went to the same cemetery during the day and as I walked around, I asked her where she wanted me to leave her flowers. I wandered through aisles and aisles of graves until somehow I stumbled on a large headstone that read SCHECHTER. I had more of a connection to the Jewish culture than I realized, as when I was an adolescent watching The L Word, I attached myself to the Jewish character Jennifer Diane Schecter. Our similarities were striking. I adopted the name as my own, a pen name I would say in the past — “I’ll use this when I start writing books one day.” I even had “there is light after darkness” tattooed down my spine after reaching out to two rabbis for the correct spelling in Hebrew. The gravestone’s name was one letter off from the spelling of my pen name, but the synchronicity was enough to have me reeling. I set the offering down and looked up to see a deer in the middle of the cemetery staring at me. I spoke to it for a while until it ran away. Soon after, my zine Emotional Horrorshow came to me, which I believe was also inspired by my connection to Lilith.
Recently in my spiritual group the time came again where I would end up connecting with the Black goddess as they call her. This time as I contemplated her depth, her darkness and my own, I ran into some flowers that looked like poppies - but they weren’t, they were Amenos — on 6/4. I had also received several downloads that day of what the name of my future podcast should be (it was Lilith inspired) and I envisioned more people to put on it.
That night, I went to sleep. I awoke at 4am on 6/5, about 30 minutes before the moon would change signs moving into Gemini (which happens to be my Midheaven in my birth chart which is all about my purpose), opening my eyes and in an instant hearing faint screams outside of my window. Immediately after a physical movement passed through my home/bedroom/outside and under me, I felt the ground shake from front to back, as if a volcano was erupting or an earthquake was occurring. It was the most intense experience I’d ever had relating to spirituality. When it was over (in mere seconds) I glanced at the time to see 410am with the knowledge that it would be that liminal time as that is when it is especially powerful to connect with anything that is not of the physical plane.
My intuition told me I was momentarily immersed into the spirit world, and those were souls or Lilith herself and her demons passing my home, under and over me and through as if to say I am here, and you need to fucking pay attention (no aggression meant by the curse word, just insistence). I scrambled onto my phone in a haze trying to see if there had been an earthquake in my area, or if the nearest volcano had reached the east coast somehow. I went to sleep when I could find no such evidence. I had a dream between then and when I awoke at 830am. In it, a young woman with particularly red hair came up to me and said “You showed me all your work and now you’re [working] at a frozen ice cream shop!” I mumbled that I needed income, to which she replied, “No. You are so completely different than anyone else I’ve ever met!” As if to urge me to step into my creative life, more than I have ever given myself permission to.
That day I had to work so I wandered about the earth with a spiritual hangover, feeling tired and otherworldly. Soon after I was driving on the highway when red matter dropped onto the side of my car, looking like blood. At first I didn’t make the connection and smeared it with my windshield wiper thinking what the fuck. Then later I took that as another hello from HER, and snapped a photo.
I spent the rest of the day asking several people if they felt what I had that night, under over and through the ground - those who lived in my home, other spiritual people, etc. No one understood me, and no one related. I sat with that and wondered why I needed validation for this experience I had. It was for me. I stuck with my intuition and let it all go because we don’t trust ourselves as more than human, and we absolutely should. Later I would speak to another witch, and she would pull a Lilith card for me, the guidebook interpretation exclaiming you can sit back no longer, all that is no longer useful must be rejected, Lilith makes it her business to clear all the shit from our lives so that we may be rebirthed anew.
The next day on 6/6, I decided to make another offering to Lilith and took the Amenos flowers to the same gravesite, where Mary, Samuel and Frank Schecter lay, two Cancers, and a Taurus all born in the 1800s. My 10th house is in Cancer which has to do with your career so I always feel so inspired by the sign. My Lilith is also in Taurus. Find out your own Black Moon Lilith placement by going here, typing in your credentials for your birth, then clicking “Extended Settings” right underneath the Calculate Chart button. Tick off “Lilith” to have your generated chart include your Lilith placement.
I saved some of the Amenos to decorate my altar with on the upcoming summer solstice and it made me so incredibly happy to do so. To incorporate her because she is very present in my life right now. Last year when I worked with her I bought a plastic red jar from Michael’s in which I put so many asks on red paper - mostly to do with financial help - and from June of last year, to now, I will tell you my financial life has been cleaned up in such a way. I found groups to help me and am on a completely different track than I was last year. I believe she answered all my pleas. When you work directly with these never human but just ancient entities, they are waiting watching listening and helping. I do believe that. You just have to connect with them, and it can be so very slight like it is with me. A once a year offering, etc. All you have to do is reach out to them, and they will reach back.
Jennifer Diane is a witch scholar, writer and model based out of New Jersey. She’s authored Folk Horror, Rural Horror, Devil’s Manifesto, Emotional Horrorshow, and Salvation. Book a one on one session, shop her books and zines, or find her on Instagram.