Building an ecosystem in your body
The body responds to whatever you eat and creates an environment inside of you to accommodate that, for better or worse. When I used to eat the way I did, I was always going to the bathroom. I would eat out with family for holidays and come home and feel like hell. I would order takeout with a significant other, and after we ate I would run to their bathroom (and so would they). And I normalized this, like a lot of us do, but more importantly my body normalized it.
Later after I had my awakening, I realized I needed to feel stronger mentally and emotionally, so I turned to the gym because I knew if I could feel stronger in my body the rest would follow. The first thing the trainer and I went over was what I ate every day. He asked me to make a list. When I continued to push myself to strength train as well as eat better to support it, my body started responding differently. Although I incorporated whole foods into my diet and did away with a lot of the processed stuff, I was still consuming outside foods like frozen pizzas, Five Guys often, etc. as much as I could because I was on an impatient mission to gain as much weight as I could. I mostly followed male bodybuilders who were larger than life, and stayed on top of all the forums to learn as much as I could.
Like clockwork, my body followed. Suddenly I wasn’t using the bathroom after every meal. Instead every morning I would wake up, do my thing at my altar, and then go to the bathroom, and that would be it for the day, until the next day, and this is how it was every single day. Keeping my body moving as a result of the gym as well as eating in a new way contributed to the new environment that was being formed inside of me. And not to get too TMI, but everything I saw in the bathroom was completely different. I could just tell I was creating something different inside because your bowel movements are the result of your insides, so it made sense. I also hardly ever had gas anymore, again not to get too TMI lol but this was crazy to me.
I mentioned in the pinned post in this section that after a few years at bodybuilding and eating a certain way I ended up in the hospital. This was because I was overconsuming animal protein (I can honestly say I was chasing a meathead lifestyle due to getting sucked into that side of gym culture) and not drinking enough water, and because for years before this I had only eaten processed foods since I was a kid. All of this combined both released kidney stones that were already there and/or created some, to this day I believe it was a mixture of both, but I didn’t have just one. What I went through after that for 6 months was something I would never wish on anyone. If you’re unaware, kidney stones are some of the most painful bodily issues to have. You are genetically predisposed if it runs in the family as well. I’m going to do a few posts on my entire experience of this in the future as well as offer resources for recovery, because I’ve been so invested in my own.
So after the hospital there were more changes I needed to make as far as what I was consuming and the way I was consuming. I worked with a urologist and nephrologist to keep on top of what was going on inside of me, but the rest was up to me. When I scrambled to change my diet again, which took a lot of time and dedicated effort, I became sick for a bit, because my body was so used to the way I had been eating (even though it was better than before) and now I was slowing that all down, and introducing new foods again while taking away others. Then later in the next year or two I would again change my diet to remove meat altogether because it didn’t sit with me anymore.
It’s not that I suddenly cared about animals or felt grossed out or became pure vegan (although I did try this too for a bit to see how I felt) it was just that deep down I couldn’t eat it anymore on a daily basis. The same thing happened to me with cigarettes, I woke up one day and went to smoke one and my body rejected it. As I said, the body follows. I believe on a spiritual level, when you initiate changes your body helps you along by bringing you to the next level, because it contains a lot of wisdom and houses your soul so it knows your highest good before you do. It is good at preparing you for what is to come. My body full on said “no more cigarettes.” And I quit cold turkey, although the biological effects of that had to wear off, so that took some time and it wasn’t easy. My physical body craved it, but my spiritual body knew better and was trying to help me evolve.
When I stopped eating meat, it was sparked by my significant other and I going to diners on the weekends all the time. I was still getting sick from this food, and it was as simple as getting egg whites, potatoes and bacon (but when you really think about the grill they use to make this, tons of things are repeatedly going onto this same grill, how much can it really be cleaned in a busy as all hell kitchen, so it’s all mixing together which is why eating out is unreliable, even if you think you know what’s in your food you don’t IMO). But when I decided to stop eating that and chicken and red meat, there was a period when I felt really sick yet again.
The point is not to think you’re doing something wrong when this happens, but that your body needs an adjustment period to create a new ecosystem. Always remember it’s alive in there like anything else, and when you introduce new plants and other living/dead things it needs some time to get familiar. One thing I will say is if you are getting gas even after changing your diet and the sick phase passes, it’s possible that that particular food is not agreeing with you. It’s a specific kind of gas I’m referring to, it can feel very weird and not just be flat out audibly flatulating a lot. It’s quiet and feels weird. I’d even go as far as to call it health-foods-gas or something like that as for me it only happened when I was experiementing and introducing different health foods and snacks. This is why I’m more of a believer in asking how exactly is your body responding to this one meal or snack? What do you feel after eating it? How’s it reacting to it? Because that matters more than whether it’s the “healthiest” you can get.
So how do you create a new ecosystem, what does it take to convert to an entirely new lifestyle? This is what I’m going to be exploring in upcoming posts.
Jennifer Diane is a goddess of darkness, writer and model based out of New Jersey. Jennifer writes for Healing with the Occult, speaks for the Enlightenment through Hellfire Podcast, and creates books and zines (coming soon).